If Only You Knew:Chapter One
by Jacnessa
Summary: I love this series and it inspired me to write because I have been through the same thing with my friend, we're still good friends but there will always be a connection between us, ALWAYS. I really hope for the best with these friends whether they're together or they remain friends.Enjoy everyone please share your thoughts and tell me if you want me to continue.
1. Chapter 1

Her eyes were filled with tears which were theartening to fall from her tear-brimmed eyes, she stood at my door with torn pieces of paper clutched between her fingers, he left her. I held out my arms and she walked right into my embrace, she snuggled her face into my neck, she let it all out, I told her to, she cried uncontrollably into my neck drenching me with tears but I didn't mind, she needed me. I carefully pulled her into the house and closed the door. I brought her to my room, cradled her as we sat on the bed, I allowed her to cry, sob, bawl, until she was ready to talk. The roomm was silent and it was jet black but I could still see her, her beauty still iilluminated my room, even when she was drenched in tears, her make up smudged, she was still absolutely breathtaking. She finally lifted her head from my neck, her big brown eyes pierced into mine. I watched her, not saying anything.

"Gosh Amy, I'm sorry to barge on you like this, for totally flooding you like this, for totally flooding you with tears, for ruining you Fri..."

I smiled and stopped her she was so cute when she rambled, I didn't mind, I loved spending maximum time with her, it doesn't matter how or what we did I just craved her company.

"It's ok, you know I'm always here for you." I smiled at her, her expression mirrored mine. She sighed.

"He left me Amy, this time with a note he didn't even have the decency to call or meet me face to face."

"He's always doing something stupid to hurt you, then he does something stupid to hurt you, then he does something to leave you, I warned you from day one that I didn't like him Karma but because you do, I tolerate him." I paused and sighed, "because your happiness is very important to me."

I loved her more than just a friend, after that day when we kissed 'just for fun' in that auditorium my feelings grew for her but she didn't know and I couldn't tell her because I didn't want to loose what we already have. Funny story, after we kissed I thought I was gay, I ventured to find someone else for I knew we couldn't be, when I mean someone else I'm speaking of both sexes here, but it wasn't the same, with either sexes, and I know what you all might be thinking, "Isn't she too young to love?" or "What did I know about love?", well I don't know what love was with anyone until I kissed her lips, her soft, plump lips, oh sorry that's a totally different topic, however, she made me feel different, unexplainable, but good different. She was the only one who had me very weak, I succumbed to her almost immediately.

She inhaled deeply, she knew I was right. It wasn't the first time she has been showing at my door crying uncontrollably in my arms, it wasn't the first time I've warned her, it wasn't the first time he has broken her heart.

"But I love him Amy, I really do that's why I put up with his bullshit."

I cringed when she professed her love for him. How dare this guy just waltz into what we have and take her away from me? Don't mind my anger, I'm just frustrated and pissed off, and being overdramatic, but it hurts to know that she doesn't feel the same or that I'm being a pussy hiding my feelings away from her fearing the worst if I did. Apart of my heart is ice cold when it comes to her but she doesn't experience that side of me, people do, even my own parents. When I'm with her my heart becomes so warm I experience those feelings that people talk about when they kiss their crush or true love or whatever, you those pretty fuckers that fly, yeah I get those. She gave me those, she made me care, she made me smile, she made me see tge brighter side of things, she made me feel like the world is ok, sigh, she made me fall in love. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, oh the contradiction.

"I know you do but.."

Her fingers covered my lips to shut me up she knew I was trying to make her feel better, she knew what I was about to say, it was something I've always done. I'd give up anything, even my own happiness, to make her happy.

"Sssh you always do that, just hold me that's all I need." She smiled brightly and positioned herself between my legs, these were the moments that led me to believe she knew how I felt about her, or if she knew how she drove me crazy with the little gestures she did to me. I wrapped my hands around her waist and she rested her head on my shoulder and we remained there, until she lifted herself away from me, I frowned at the lost contact which didn't go by unnoticed.

"We have all night to cuddle silly, I just wanna watch a movie with my girl."

Her girl, it meant so much more to me than what she was implying.

"OK." I smiIed she knew me too well, she found my favourite movie, she always did that, she would feel fucked up but loving making others smile.

She walked back to me, right between my thighs again, she curled her toes in mine and started an ongoing game of footsies, she looked into my eyes and the world was non-exsistent for a moment, she smiled and rested on me, I felt she was mine, I could have her in my arms like this forever. Our attention was brought back into reality by the DVR playing 'Matilda.'


	2. Chapter 2

Well, another Monday morning. I have to say I've had one of the most memorable weekends, she spent the whole weekend with me. Not even knowing that it's the worst day of the week could ruin how elated I'm feeling. The morning sun burst through my windows and took me from my slumber. I stretched my arm to the opposite side of my bed to feel if my dark haired beauty was still beside me but it was empty, I sighed, I missed her. I squinted my eyes open and adjusted my vision to the brightly lit room, I got up cautiously and glanced a note on my side table at the corner of my eyes.

"Morning sleepy head, had to leave and I didn't want to wake you, you looked too cute. Thanks for letting me stay with you babe, see you at school.

xoxo Karma"

I smiled at her note, she was always good at that, making people smile, and with that I found a reason to get myself up and get ready for school.

I opened the doors of the dreaded place they call high school with a smile as bright as the sun rays but it vanished so quickly when I saw the multitude of eyes staring at me like I committed murder or something, as I walked, hushed whispers could be heard, I stepped cautiously down the hallway holding my head high as ever, she came into sight and I could no longer see nor hear the hypocrites behind me, I smiled brightly at the Aphrodite before me, she stood there helping her fellow classmate with some work. I knew she felt my presence for she looked up before I came into her view. We were now in our bubble, isolated from the world, the eyes that pointed questioning stares at us, the ones who pointed daggers too, I didn't give a fuck, she was right in front me, wrapping her arms around me, embracing me in her hug.

I couldn't help myself, I nestled my head in her neck, she smelled delightful, like watermelon and strawberries, very edible, very tasteful, something mouthwatering, a craving, an addiction, I never get tired of it. I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around her, returned the embrace, and engulfed myself in naughty thoughts about her. I was visioning her legs spread open right in front of me, ready for me to slide my fingers in her channel, to taste her...

"Amy?" I was snapped out of my not so innocent thoughts, she was waiting for me to let go, so was our audience. She smiled at me regardless.

"Hey you" she lit up my world, here comes those fucking butterflies I couldn't stand that she made me feel. I became worried because her smile was brighter than normal or worse...it was this bright when they made up, I didn't want them to, I was absolutely jealous of that dude, I mean he gets to fuck her, while I have to dream about it and masturabate thinking about us giving head to each other.

HeHer eyes were filled with tears which were theartening to fall from her tear-brimmed eyes, she stood at my door with torn pieces of paper clutched between her fingers, he left her. I held out my arms and she walked right into my embrace, she snuggled her face into my neck, she let it all out, I told her to, she cried uncontrollably into my neck drenching me with tears but I didn't mind, she needed me. I carefully pulled her into the house and closed the door. I brought her to my room, cradled her as we sat on the bed, I allowed her to cry, sob, bawl, until she was ready to talk. The roomm was silent and it was jet black but I could still see her, her beauty still iilluminated my room, even when she was drenched in tears, her make up smudged, she was still absolutely breathtaking. She finally lifted her head from my neck, her big brown eyes pierced into mine. I watched her, not saying anything.

"Gosh Amy, I'm sorry to barge on you like this, for totally flooding you like this, for totally flooding you with tears, for ruining you Fri..."

I smiled and stopped her she was so cute when she rambled, I didn't mind, I loved spending maximum time with her, it doesn't matter how or what we did I just craved her company.

"It's ok, you know I'm always here for you." I smiled at her, her expression mirrored mine. She sighed.

"He left me Amy, this time with a note he didn't even have the decency to call or meet me face to face."

"He's always doing something stupid to hurt you, then he does something stupid to hurt you, then he does something to leave you, I warned you from day one that I didn't like him Karma but because you do, I tolerate him." I paused and sighed, "because your happiness is very important to me."

I loved her more than just a friend, after that day when we kissed 'just for fun' in that auditorium my feelings grew for her but she didn't know and I couldn't tell her because I didn't want to loose what we already have. Funny story, after we kissed I thought I was gay, I ventured to find someone else for I knew we couldn't be, when I mean someone else I'm speaking of both sexes here, but it wasn't the same, with either sexes, and I know what you all might be thinking, "Isn't she too young to love?" or "What did I know about love?", well I don't know what love was with anyone until I kissed her lips, her soft, plump lips, oh sorry that's a totally different topic, however, she made me feel different, unexplainable, but good different. She was the only one who had me very weak, I succumbed to her almost immediately.

She inhaled deeply, she knew I was right. It wasn't the first time she has been showing at my door crying uncontrollably in my arms, it wasn't the first time I've warned her, it wasn't the first time he has broken her heart.

"But I love him Amy, I really do that's why I put up with his bullshit."

I cringed when she professed her love for him. How dare this guy just waltz into what we have and take her away from me? Don't mind my anger, I'm just frustrated and pissed off, and being overdramatic, but it hurts to know that she doesn't feel the same or that I'm being a pussy hiding my feelings away from her fearing the worst if I did. Apart of my heart is ice cold when it comes to her but she doesn't experience that side of me, people do, even my own parents. When I'm with her my heart becomes so warm I experience those feelings that people talk about when they kiss their crush or true love or whatever, you those pretty fuckers that fly, yeah I get those. She gave me those, she made me care, she made me smile, she made me see tge brighter side of things, she made me feel like the world is ok, sigh, she made me fall in love. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, oh the contradiction.

"I know you do but.."

Her fingers covered my lips to shut me up she knew I was trying to make her feel better, she knew what I was about to say, it was something I've always done. I'd give up anything, even my own happiness, to make her happy.

"Sssh you always do that, just hold me that's all I need." She smiled brightly and positioned herself between my legs, these were the moments that led me to believe she knew how I felt about her, or if she knew how she drove me crazy with the little gestures she did to me. I wrapped my hands around her waist and she rested her head on my shoulder and we remained there, until she lifted herself away from me, I frowned at the lost contact which didn't go by unnoticed.

"We have all night to cuddle silly, I just wanna watch a movie with my girl."

Her girl, it meant so much more to me than what she was implying.

"OK." I smiIed she knew me too well, she found my favourite movie, she always did that, she would feel fucked up but loving making others smile.

She walked back to me, right between my thighs again, she curled her toes in mine and started an ongoing game of footsies, she looked into my eyes and the world was non-exsistent for a moment, she smiled and rested on me, I felt she was mine, I could have her in my arms like this forever. Our attention was brought back into reality by the DVR playing 'Matilda.'

"He..ey, you OK?" I furrowed my brows cautiously as I spoke, she was definitely on high today.

Her smile faded when I asked her, she gave me a confused look, as if question was stupid or irrelevant, as if something was wrong asking if she was OK, her frown didn't last long for now her smile was apparent once more.

"I'm just really happy to see you that's all, you always make me feel better, I realized that I need you, forever and always, throughout every bonehead that comes in my life and I get naive and jump on the love train so quickly and crash in an instant, my girl is better than any guy that comes in my life and I need you to know that Amy. I'm a wreck without you, one emotional wreck." Her words drove me crazy, they were strictly innocent but I couldn't see it that way, I wanted her to mine, no I NEEDED her to be mine. Everyday I fall more in love, if only she knew.

I smiled at her and joked. "Well for starters you would have been an absolute mess coming to school today."

"Shut up." She said ever so playfully and slapped my shoulder.

I laughed. "Come on. You have History now and I have Calculus."

"Let me walk you." She placed our hands in a loving embrace and smiled, the hallway fell silent and she just struted down the halls with my hand in hers.

I was sitting for 45 minutes in class waiting for the two hours to be over. I was about to escape to my fantasy about the girl I was madly in love with but the vibration of my phone refrained me from doing so. It was a text message...from her.

"baby I'm bored :\, how's class going for you?"

I could have casually told her I was about to day dream about me rocking her world with my touch and kisses but I smiled and refrained engulfing myself in our mushy lovey conversation. Which happens almost everyday you would think we really are fucking each other's brain out. In other words we had gay moments we did because we set up a front to be, those moments were and are genuine it's just that hers are innocent and sigh you know mines aren't I'm sorry dear reader for giving you a hard day by making you feel my pain but if you have stayed to read this far you care, thank you.

"here being bored too, almost fell asleep until you texted."

"We can go do a quickie in the bathroom to keep you awake and me less bored. *wink wink*

" Is that a promise?"

"No just reality, you're literally down the hall and you wore a skirt today, you planned for me?"

"Oh definitely didn't even wear an underwear so you can slide your fingers up and in"

"Oh my that sounds divine it looks like you didn't wear anything under that blouse either, so I can suck too, it's double heaven for us both"

"Oh baby that sounds like more than a quickie, I certainly wouldn't leave without getting my hands in your pants *wink and lick lips*

" My my you're turning me on, I'm stopping the convo right here before you actually turn me gay lol see you at lunch babe ;)

"Lol, you started it, Ok babe you know where to find me ;)"

"Sure do baby"

My thighs clenched together, she left me wet, unsatisfied and bothered. There were so many things she did to me and now to stop this throbbing, touching myself is what I had to do when I got home, fantasising it's her giving me steady orgasms the whole time. Welcome to my life.


End file.
